After more than 10 years together, 3 of them being married, Luke and I are expecting a baby! I'm not sure if I should have ended that with a question mark or an exclamation point? It's not that we're not excited, we are! Just a bit shocked. After several months of tyroid and horomone testing the most definitive ting I heard the past few months was that I am anovulatory. I don't ovulate, hence I can't get pregnant. Fast forward to June 20th, Father's Day 2010. I'm feeling compelled to take one of the pregnancy tests I have on hand. Yes, I have one on hand-when you're suddenly irregular after years of birth control and periods like clockwork, you invest in a few pee sticks.
Anyway, like with most tests I've taken in the past, this was just to confirm that I was becoming predictable unpredictable. But when the word "Pregnant" appeared I was a bit floored. I was smiling, I think, I'm sure I was, but I also started sweating like mad. Luke was in the next room, and I knew I had to tell him. I wasn't sure I could get out the words "i'm pregnant" Even now, writing this, it seems like it was a dream to say it out loud. It makes me shiver just to think it, it's so surreal. I emerge from our little one-window bathroom and cross our excuse for a hallway into the "office". It's supposed to be a second bedroom, but for our needs it's more of a poker room/exercise studio/place where things with no place end up. I ask Luke if he's got a minute, a while he says sure, I know he's a little distracted and would want to be focused on this moment. So, I tell him I'll really need his attention when he gets a minute. He must know somehing's up because he let's everything slide and turns from his behemoth side-by-side computer monitors and asks, "What's going on?"
With pee stick in hand I say, "according to this, well, I'm pregnant." I see a smile flash across his face quickly followed by a look that can only be described as an internal voice stating the obvious, "Oh, shit."
"I know," I say. We both know. We both know we were told we might have a bit of trouble conceiving (that's putting it mildly). We both know that all medical tests whether they say 995 accurate on the box or not can be as likely as 10% to deliver a false positive. So we head out for a second test.
I'm excited but also nervous and unprepared. We pass the Walgreen's up the street, even though it's short walk, we took the car, knowing we may have to make more than one stop. There it was, 9:10 on a Sunday night and it was closed.
A quick maneuver across two empty lanes and we're on our way to the 24-hour HEB. Not my first pick this time of night, it's ALWAYS packed and I hoped not to run into someone we know, not yet. We notice the red box rental outside has a line 10 people deep, Luke remarks, "I'm in the wrong business".
We make a beeline to the back of the store, intentionally pick out a different brand than I used before and make our way to the Express Line. We are both walking through the carts of food for the week and the last minute forgotten items, spontaneously smiling, then not. I can' t put it on the automatic belt, so I clasp the box in my hands and wait for the couple in front of us to finish purchasing their 4 pints of strawberry whipped cream. I hand the cashier the box she swipes it and puts it in a bag before I can say, we don't need a bag.
On the way home, I contemplate the likely month of delivery if all goes normally. And I realize something disappointing. I won't be able to go to Hawaii for my in-law's 40th anniversary. They forewent there actual anniversary date in January and opted to take the whole family in March, so our oldest nephew Cannon, wouldn't miss school. A very sweet consideration, but at the same time, the kid is sharp as a tack and going into Kindergarten. I think he'd have been fine missing 9 days, but that's not my call. So I ask Luke if I'm horrible for thinking about missing Hawaii? With his usual effacing, he teases, "No, but I'll miss you!"
We get home and I chug as much water as my stomach will hold, hoping it will help move it along faster. Another test, another three minute wait, another positive result. We're pregnant.
It's still sinking in, and of course the first few things I did were to look up when it's safe to start telling people because I KNOW I'll have to tell my mom and sisters, I couldn't possible keep this form them if I wanted to. Second, I tried to find information on pregnancy and this hard core fitness regime I just started, it seems I may have to suspend it in favor of something less demanding. The third thing I tried to figure out our date of conception-it seems like June 11th may have been the day...though it's not an exact science.
We went to bed relatively early, but didn't get to sleep until nearly 1AM. Between our anxiety and excitement and need to be close, we eventually figured it was best to try to be as normal as possible. So, we watched Lethal Weapon 2 until we couldn't stay up any longer.
The next day, today, I'm ready to give up coffee and tuna, though I anticipated having both today. I'm considering continuing my exercise regime, after all I would have gone if I never took the test...though I'm not sure yet. One thing is certain, I don't want to forget what this was and will all be like. Next steps: call the doctor for a confirmation appointment, continue my Monday workday, and try to be normal! For now, that means: working on LiteracySA, the fireworks season, and closing on our house all within the next 10 days. Throw this in the mix and see what comes out, I guess!
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